Have no fear. I have freaked out several times and been right where you are myself: Scouring the internet for ideas, solutions, anything that will give me an idea of how to do this. How in the world are you supposed to navigate an entirely new human being and take care of a toddler?
Well, still figuring it out. LOL. But I will say there are a few things that have made it somewhat doable.
The general concepts for relatively smooth sailing in this department is preparation and engagement. First things first: Prepare your toddler physically and mentally. Take them to the bathroom or check their diaper, provide an accessible snack and water if needed, and then get on their level and tell them. “Hey buddy, I need to feed ____, so I won’t be able to help you for a little while. Can I get you anything before I start?” Improvise this to best fit your child, but even if they don’t have the language skills to understand all that you’re saying, say it anyway. Getting on their level and connecting will set them up well to play more independently. They are constantly learning and will pick up on this eventually. Second things second: engage them in something exciting, like…..
1) Snacks, snacks, snacks.
Nothing gets to a toddler’s heart faster. Splurge on a favorite, do what you gotta do. I would suggest keeping it semi-healthy. You don’t want a fussy toddler that is also on a sugar rush. Keep it somewhere between healthy and a treat. I’ve been going with 100% fruit bars, berries, apples, juice, banana bread, etc. Don’t worry about the crumbs, it may be worth it for the moment.
2) Busy Bags
As the name implies, fill a couple containers with random stuff for them to pick through that they only get to play with while you’re nursing. This sounded like a lot of work for me before entering this season, but they have been truly helpful. For an example of what to put inside, one of ours contained: An easter egg with a shell inside, a small car, physical pictures to sort through, a snack, a bouncy ball, and a little dinosaur. All of these things we found around the house. Goodwill also usually has a 25 cent toy table with teeny trinkets. If you’re worried about clutter, just do some recycling of old toys, and swallow it for this season. We want them busy, so we’ll take a little more clutter. Also, we used plastic bags from the grocery store as the container- does not have to be expensive to be fun or exciting for a kid. Also, I had my husband do this, and that was very helpful:D
Update: I ended up just letting him continue to play with the busy bag once we were done nursing because he was having so much fun. Choose your own adventure!
3) Play Simon Says
This one has been a delightful surprise. My kid thinks it’s just so fun to play, he gets to practice learning his language skills and following directions, and it’s a hands free game for me to play with him. Mind you, my child does not understand the rules, so I guess it’s not really a game other than me just saying Simon says in front of general commands. But ya know, he loves it, so we’ll roll with it.
4) Play Secret Agent
Pretend to be super serious and make it a game. Whisper it really intensely. (Imagine me whispering and saying this with intensity in my eyes) “Buddy, I have a serious mission for you. Do you accept? (wait for acceptance obvi) Ok, I need you to go get your big yellow tractor and your blue ball, bring it back here, and pick up the blue ball with your big yellow tractor before the aliens come” It’s funny how long it may take you to think of simple missions sometimes, but my kid also loves to play this game, so it might work for you too! Also, consider having him or her put on some spy gear or something of the sort to make it a little more fun and a “bigger deal”.
5) Nurse Outside
My kid is usually endlessly preoccupied outside and it helps calm me down and him. If it’s nice out, bring a little hat for your newborn to keep them shaded, and any other essentials you need to make nursing comfortable and try it out. I have really liked doing this recently, but it was hard for me to have the courage to do it the first time for some reason? Maybe just try it out and if it’s not a good fit and you need your nursing chair, chuck this idea, but it may also become your new favorite too.
6) Play with Water
Set them up in the high chair with a little water to move around, some cups to pour back and forth if they are old enough, or send them to the sink to turn the water on and off. I understand this one can come with some clean up after, but if you need a break to just nurse, it’s usually a good one to keep a kid occupied. Also, have your kiddo help clean up any mess. Builds character.
7) Send for Back Up
If it gets really hard, and your newborn really needs some attention, you can always ask a friend or relative to help you entertain your kid. Sometimes, nursing can be really hard for a week or so before either your baby gets the hang of it more or your milk supply regulates. I had a horrible time around week 4, but it only lasted a few days. During this time, I think I used just about every single one of these tips, and I also sent my toddler over to grandma and grandpa’s for a day. That day I did a ton of research on my newborn’s specific issues with nursing and tried a bunch of different things. It was helpful to be able to concentrate and really pay attention to what was going on at the breast. Now we’re at week 5 and getting into a groove. Thank goodness.
8) Put Some Good Music On
My kiddo loves the Frozen soundtrack, and I do too. Hah. If we need a little pick me up, I turn this on before I’m about to nurse and he usually enjoys the music and plays well. He’ll also usually end up getting his Frozen books and looking through them. Gives him something to think about other than me. It’s a win win.
9) Read Books
Have your kid pick out his or her favorite books to look through. If they can sit next to you comfortably, you can read them to your kiddo while you nurse. This may be helpful especially for kids that are jealous of the baby’s closeness to Mom while breastfeeding.
10) Resort to the Tablet
You know, sometimes your TV/phone/tablet can be a great resource, and I can 100% appreciate that. I like to use it sparingly for days when I am at the end of myself and just need some time to space while I nurse. In this case, I usually ask my kid if he wants to look at some home videos on my phone. I like doing it this way because he’s reliving memories from trips we’ve taken or everyday funny things that we thought to video. Usually we have pictures of friends/family so we practice names, etc. You can also put on a good ole’ TV show or youtube video of animals. The internet world is your oyster.
Happy Momming, mah dudes.
